So many questions but no answer = the future?


just came back from lunch and spent time with friends, reach home like 5 something in the evening. Feeling tired and I just lay my self on my bed. Its sunday afternoon. It’s like cloudy and dark sky all over the place but no rain is coming as I expected.

Wake up at 8 at evening, lazy to go out so I cook indomie with an egg plus my orange juice from fridge. A little bit healthy dinner even not so but I am satisfy.

web browsing, reading some news about tech stuff and watching movie, Piranha! Clock is ticking and showing 11.30pm. Time to rest. Toilet break and brush my teeth. Bump into my bed. Switch on radio on classical channel and set timer for 1 hour, Nice….!

Here we go…
Close my eyes, then flip right and left but I couldn’t sleep. My mind is like thinking so many things but the eyes is so tired..

Then I start to think about coming years..
What would I be in next year or may be next 3, 5, 10 years later?
What will be the changes?
Where will I be?
Am i married?
Who will i marry?
Then how about my career?
What will I do?
Can I be the man to support my family?
How is my parent? They are not getting any younger.
And Where will be my siblings? How are they doing?

What the hell there are so many questions? But no answer. I am nervous, unsure, insecure.

What tomorrow will bring to me? I don’t know.

But people once said, that’s why this is the interesting part of life.
If you already know, you either will take it for granted or your life will be boring.

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Nothing to lose and proof, that’s beautiful..

What I am missing the most now is the excitement, release your feeling..

I am feeling everybody have moved on to the other stage of life, they are not doing the same things again..

There is a responsibility they have to take and consider other opinion before deciding the best decision they have to make..

everybody walk in their own way.. There is another fun thing on the other stage of life.

I am always miss the things I had done with my friends in the past where now not that easy to happen again.. It was a freedom in heart, enjoy very single moments, spend every time together.. Just release all the burden and enjoy it..

I guess, I do realize, I miss joking around and have an excitement together.
I realize, I have to spend my time meaningfully and enjoy it with all of them.
I realize, I will miss them very much.. When the time is come.

When you spend time with everyone that have nothing to lose.. It really a pleasure coz there is nothing to proof..

Life is pretty simple as this..
Changes are happening every corner of the life..

We miss what we have the most

There is a time when you lose something that you love the most.

Merasakan kerinduan yang sangat dalam ketika kita kehilangan sesuatu yang sangat disayangin.

Ketika kita beranjak mendekat dan mulai memikirkan segala sesuatu yang akan hilang. when time is too short.

Kerinduan merambat masuk kedalam sendi-sendi
Kedinginan mulai menusuk masuk keseluruh tubuh
Dan disetiap darah yang mengalir
Sepi rasanya.

Seperti baru bangun dari goa yang sunyi dan dingin
Seperti berjalan sendiri di tengah hujan yang deras dan hutan yg gelap
Tidak ada siapa pun disana

Hanya dirimu sendiri.

Orang selalu bilang, waktu akan menyembuhkan. Kenapa kita mesti menyesal seperti itu jika kita bisa menghargai waktu yang diberikan buat kita?

Apakah kita pernah memikirkan lebih dalam tentang orang-orang disekeliling kita yang kita sayangi?

Family & friends..

We never know when we will be separated, destiny is undefined and we do not know what future may hold.

Kenapa kita tidak memanfaatkan setiap waktu yang ada, bahkan beberapa minit saja.

Kita terbiasa berbicara, .. “lainkali mase ada waktu” atau, “ya nanti aja deh

We are taking everything for granted
Time, Family, Friends, health, lessons in this life, and so many other things in life..

I am Missing something

As everyday in morning.. at 8.10 i will get up from bed and go to bath to get ready for work.. Just these few days, my mom and sister always there to greet me..

Hi.. “Where are you guys going..?” I will greet them, “market, have breakfast and buy something”, my sis said.

These few days, I will always remind my younger sister who is just graduated to buy newspaper and apply for job and i will talk to mom, “Mom, where did you guy go yesterday…? how was it going?” (if i did not go with them).

While I am drinking water, I will give them some idea of where they can go today and so on but if I can make it for dinner, I will tell them, where should we eat later.

And today… just today, another day… this moment precisely.

I am like missing something…

I feel like i want to go to somewhere… a peaceful places… peaceful breeze of the air… the green grass and no tall building at all.. kind of getaway stuff..

I am like really.. really wanted to be there… and i know… i will be there someday…

I prayed to the Lord, that He gonna guide me through these visions and lead there..

Seeing few places on the net, few countries which i seldom heard about it… all the images come out… and its just beautiful… beautiful places…

so big this world is and i am just here, around here..

Dream and responsibility

Almost midnite and it will be (11.26pm)

Banyak pikiran yang mengelantung di dalam pikiran gua sekarang ini,
Perasaan yang tidak tau apa yang terbaik yang harusnya gua lakukan,
Perasaan yang semakin kuat dan mendesak.

Seperti berdiri disatu persimpangan jalan yang terbagi dua, ya.. cuma ada dua.

Sudah lama gua berdiri dipersimpangan yang sama ini,
Sudah lama seharusnya gua harus memilih salah satu jalur ini,
Ke kiri ato ke kanan?

Huh.. Waktu gua semakin dekat,
Pikiran yang mase blon bulat untuk membuat satu keputusan.

2 pilihan yang berbeda, 2 pilihan yang akan membawa gua pada 2 jalur hidup yang berbeda dan 2 pilihan yang sama baiknya.

Setiap orang punya cita-cita termasuk gua,
Setiap orang punya tanggung jawab termasuk gua.

Hidup terlalu singkat dan hanya sekali,
— oh Tunggu, g blon lakukan ini… Eh Bntar ya, g blon ke sana… Hmm.. Sedikit lgi selesai, entar g baru pikirin lagi…—
Waktu juga berjalan tanpa henti menunggu.

the pressures bring me to a “responsibility” way.

Be brave to take risk, some future that hold you might be a blessing or failure..
But isn’t it worth to try something you really wanna do in your life?
A chance and a dream that you have right now in this life..
A chance that you only know when you take it..

I do really want to take the risk, ;(

What do you really chase in this life?

This noon after a good noon sleep, i woke up around 6 pm Singapore time. Was not really sure and suddenly I was set to think something.

– What do i really chase in this life?
Simple question isn’t it? and does you really know what is yours? What have you been doing all these years?

Fulfilling your life with “things” that you love and appreciated so much and spend every single time meaningfully and purposely with them.

Perhaps it’s one of them.

Back to younger age

There is a thought what if you go back to the past, in which age do you wanna it to be…?

I can easily answer it will be my early age as a child. Around 7 of age. Why?

Simply I love my child life.. My family and people around me and my live were full of fun and activities and friend around me…

I moved from my home town to this small town in Jambi and I was glad to be there.. Its called Muaro Bungo.

New environment and new excitement that’s I guess was in my mind even now I always love new place/environment.. It bring the new things to play, new food & drink and new friend and what is more important is that the new surrounding, it bring something fresh to my mind…

Well, enough said. I always like the peace and how lovely my surrounding at that point of time.. Not only the people but the simplicity of peoples and thing.. Was not anything so complicated..

It’s just SIMPLE to love.